Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Golf Owes Tiger an Apology

Golf Owes Tiger an Apology

Okay, Tiger read a script in an effort to salvage Tiger Inc. and the cash cow. Good luck with that (or, who really cares about that?).

But Tiger is not really the problem. The main problem WE have concerns the game of golf. Is golf unique as a sport of honor and integrity, or not? Does anyone not notice that "golf" is in crisis?

Golf at the present means ET-style celebrities, private Gulfstream GV jets, gi-normous mega-yachts (Tiger's is 155 feet long, Greg Norman's is 228 feet), $4,000-a-day sex rehab clinics, gold-plated helicopters toting golf toadies of Wall-Street marquee frauds, bagmen and pimps and wingmen masquerading as sports agents, secret cell phones and hook-up hotels, tabloid paparazzi following trophy wives on "Shop Therapy" junkets, lying on television, police investigations, prostitutes and whores and gigolos and threesomes, $10,000-a-hand blackjack and Jack Daniels and $2 tips, ...

So whose fault is that? Tim Finchem's, that's who! And oh yes, me. And you too.

Tiger Woods is golf's crack cocaine. He's that good. Which is too bad for golf. Golf has an addiction, and golf is stealing grandma's egg money to support it.

The cure probably won't take.

Golf enabled Tiger Woods. He was given $50,000 country club memberships at the age of 14, for heaven sakes (send us your name, please, so we can talk about you guys who did this.) IMG hired his dad under the table and off the books as a "consultant" while Tiger played junior golf, ostensibly paying Earl to keep IMG informed about the great prospects he saw competing alongside his little boy. Stanford cashed in as well. Good grief -- the Lasik surgery business that performed Tiger's laser eye surgery PAID Tiger Inc. $1 million to be allowed to do it and has since paid an additional $3 million yearly to be allowed by Tiger Inc. to mention this fact in ads. CBS paid $850 million to the PGA Tour for the first 4-year television rights cycle. Nike's Knight stroked the check for $40 million that persuaded Tiger to quit college and become a celebrity "hero" for kids who might like a cool pair of sneakers to wear when they also quit school.

So, how's it going, golf?

An apology from golf to Tiger goes something like this: "We generate $75 billion each year in consumer spending and support an entire sector of the real estate and resort industry with a capital value many times greater. Each year the lowest paid professional Tour players take home nearly $1 million each for having served as cannon fodder for Tiger, with the also-rans near the top of the heap getting $4-$5 million out of the kitty. Fans who couldn't care less about golf as a game watch the sport and buy the beer in droves only if Tiger plays. So, "we're sorry already", okay?? Now, will you please start playing again?"

Puff puff.


Geoff Mangum
Putting Coach and Theorist

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